I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
nutella sex= disaster
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize