just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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