I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
i now understand why vodka
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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