HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?â€
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
