my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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