My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
