i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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