I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize