My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
