i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize