he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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