Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(434): View more from Virginia

well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard

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(847): View more from Illinois

True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up

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(417): View more from Missouri

My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.

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(613): View more from Ontario

I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."

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(409): View more from Texas

i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?

(718): View more from New York

See you tonight.

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(720): View more from Colorado

then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.

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(315): View more from New York

He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!

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