Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
