How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
