why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
