life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You did what with his pubic hair?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
