I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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