We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
