My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
