theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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