Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
organizing the empties. That sober.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
