I'm gonna have a badass scar
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
