i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
