he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
