Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
