STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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