her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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