Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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