the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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