i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize