then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
wow bdsm is so cute
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