did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
