She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize