I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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