If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
