the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
how does that bad decision feel?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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