i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
