I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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