i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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