my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
we should paint friendship bongs
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
