I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
