apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Randomize
