So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
