Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
