Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
