I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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