Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
