By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
