Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
