This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
