Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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