what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Brb crying the tears of my youth
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
