A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
