Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
