my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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