How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
