i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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